Chris Phillips's Page

Deer Republicans



So we’ve been hearing a lot of clamoring from the liberal media about whom the republican presidential candidates are going to be and when they’re going to declare. Problem is, the pen is mightier than the sword, and they got there ballpoint blades pointed at only one side of the field.



You see, when I hear the liberal media crying out for potential republican candidates to declare their running, all I hear is… Continue

Your Undocumented Roommate



Hello, my name is Juan. Good news buddy, I’m going to be moving into your house with you! I’m gonna be your new roommate Michael! Can I call you Michael? I feel like I can call you Michael now.



How did I get here, you ask? Well your fence only surrounds like a third of your property. The Detroit Lions have better outside blocking. I just walked right in. That red-head Janet over there said it was cool.



Now I know you’ve been getting a lot… Continue

So recently in Chicago (home lunches) and in Boston (sugar drinks) there have been efforts by the local government to cram their universal health doctrines down the throats of their citizens. The backlash was immediate. Perhaps the news would have gone down better with a spoon full of sugar.



It’s awfully sweet of the government to look after our best interest. After all, monitoring our diet goes along with the new “everybody’s gotta have skin in the game” universal healthcare plan… Continue

A Non-Essential Life



So in light of the near government shutdown we almost endured, where at the strike of midnight the “non-essential” employees would have had their cubicles turn into proverbial pumpkins, we started hearing about all of the horror stories of what apocalyptic results would occur. Well color me doubtful…….. and tan. Seriously, it’s almost summer and if I were any whiter I could cause the record to scratch just by… Continue